Tuesday, December 30, 2008


The Detroit Lions made history Sunday, becoming the first NFL team to finish a season 0-16. Officially, they are now the eighth team to complete a winless season. The complete list is:
1982 Baltimore Colts 0-8-1 (strike season)
1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-14
1960 Dallas Cowboys 0-11-1
1944 merged team of the Chicago Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers 0-10
1943 Chicago Cardinals 0-10
1942 Detroit Lions 0-11
1934 Cincinnati Reds 0-8

I remember the '82 Colts clearly -- my best friend at the time was a huge and very bitter Colts fan, and I'm old enough to remember the '76 Bucs. I was (still am) a Packers fan, a team with their own tough years in the '70s. So it made me feel good to have at least one team I could laugh at during those Monday morning football smackfests while waiting for the school bus. Those Bucs were awful -- shut out five times, failed to total 200 yards of offense five times, and a loss to that year's other expansion team, Seattle. Four quarterbacks took snaps for TB that year: Steve Spurrier, Parnell Dickinson, Terry Hanratty, and Larry Lawrence. None ever played in the NFL again. Still they made the playoffs three years later, riding a stout defense all the way to the conference championship -- one game from the Super Bowl. So take heart Lions fans, maybe you'll get there yet.

(Worst. Sign. Ever. Seriously, if you're going to make a sign for the whole football-watching world to see, try to make it look better than a Lions fist round draft pick.)

CREDITS: Photo, AP Photos; winless list, Yahoo Answers.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

We're No. 26!! We're No. 26!!

No no, not Erik Cole. And not quite the same ring as being number 1, but...

...in Hockey's Future Fall 2008 Organizational Rankings, which assesses the prospect pools of all NHL teams, the Hurricanes ranked 26th. "Wow, that's....special," I hear you saying. Well it is when you consider that the 'Canes were 30th -- dead last -- in 2007, and even the Hockey News ranked their prospects 29th in its own pre-season ranking. You can read for yourself here, and soak in all the backhanded compliments the folks at HF have to offer.

The new #30? Our favorite: New Jersey.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I Thought They Won?

After holding a 5-1 lead into the 3rd period, the Canes end up with a 6-5 shootout loss to Philadelphia. That's what I get for turning off the computer after 40 minutes.

Although it's a terribly tough loss to swallow, there were still some good signs here, right? Five goals scored; a big lead through two periods against a tough Eastern Conference opponent; solid play (finally) from Eric Staal. Still, a loss is a loss, and the team's confidence has to be even shakier after that ugly third period. This may be the biggest example where blame can be pointed squarely at the ginormous pile of injuries this team has suffered: four recent AHL call-ups on the blue line, and Leighton in net. The inexperience obviously showed late.

Next game: Saturday in New York vs. the Rangers. A couple of questions must be asked:
1. Will Seidenberg and even Gleason be back on defense? Let's hope so, as the team needs some veteran stability on the back line now more than ever.

2. Is this the time to give Peters his first start? If the Canes play poorly, would it be worse to have Leighton or Peters in net? Whose confidence would be shaken more?

Anyway, we're still in a tough stretch for the Canes. After the Rangers, it's games against Montreal, Florida, Boston, and Montreal again. All tough games, even now given the recent surge by the Panthers. Is going 2-3 in this next stretch too much to ask?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Mo is Back

Laviolette is fired, Paul Maurice is back. I know I should give Maurice the benefit of the doubt, but how long until we see this guy at the RBC Center:

Nightmare Scenario

During the run-up to the election, every morning I'd wake up in a cold sweat with visions of Sarah Palin in the White House. Thankfully, that didn't happen, but now I have a new anxiety dream...

This morning I awoke believing the Canes had traded Sergei Samsonov to Dallas for Sean Avery.

I couldn't get back to sleep after that.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Most Overlooked Team in the NHL?

The Information Age can just as accurately be called the Information Overload Age, and as sports fans we’re constantly deluged with way too much data, all the time. This is just as true for the NHL fan as it is for any other sport, to the point that many fans know a host of trivial details about the teams, players, coaches, prospects, and so on, for most of the teams in the league.

And yet, there are still islands of obscurity in this sea of articles, blog posts, columns, and other flotsam. There are places where seemingly no light can penetrate the fog, and one place in particular where players and coaches toil in relative anonymity. So I ask: Who is the NHL’s most overlooked team? Who lives in that Jan Brady netherworld, struggling for attention in a world filled with superachieving Marcias and too-cute-for-words Cindys? Which of the league’s thirty teams draws next to no attention – whether flattering or not – from the national and regional media that covers the sport?

The Carolina Hurricanes, that's who. The Canes seem to exist in a media black hole, so much so that sometimes I feel like I’m following a 29-team league. There are teams to love, to respect, to watch rise or fall, to laugh at – but at least that’s something. Carolina gets nothing. Case in point: I recently renewed my long-lapsed subscription to the venerable The Hockey News. In nearly a dozen issues since, there has been just one – ONE – article about the Hurricanes, and that merely a sidebar item featuring fan questions to winger Tuomo Ruutu.

Why is this? Is it the lack of superstar talent, a Crosby, Ovechkin, or Brodeur to draw attention to their annual runs to glory? Sure, Carolina has a superstar-in-the-making in Eric Staal, but he’s a quiet type who doesn’t make headlines. (Unless he’s partying with his brothers, that is. Perhaps it’s a good thing the Canes passed up the chance to draft Jared Staal in this year’s amateur draft.) Is it the lack of motor-mouth attention seekers, a Steve Avery or Jeremy Roenick, who draw microphones like flies to garbage? Or perhaps it’s playing in the lowly Southeast Division, generally regarded as the league’s worst. Yes, Washington has made huge strides, but millstones like Atlanta, Florida, and Tampa Bay drag their social-climbing neighbors back into the muck. Or maybe it’s being a Southern hockey team, of playing in a warm-weather "non-traditional market?" (An all-purpose term of derision, it seems to me.) It certainly is easy for writers to dismiss Southerners as yokels, too ignorant or NASCAR-brainwashed to really, truly, understand the game. I know I cringe every time I read about "hillbilly hockey." But isn’t this attitude as boorish, inane, and yes, stupid, as Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker’s comments about foreigners and Yankees fans? Can't you come up with something better?

Did I just imagine Carolina winning the 2006 Stanley Cup finals? Does the NHL pretend it never happened? Was that just a blip on the radar, a fluke result in an otherwise proud march of "legitimate" champions? Does two years of late-season disappointment – missing the playoffs by a game – really cast a team into the wilderness? Apparently, in the NHL the answer is yes.

By comparison, look at the rest of the league:

The Canadian teams: By virtue of playing their country’s national sport, Calgary, Edmonton, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto,and Vancouver naturally assume a disproportionate share of media attention, even in some US markets. It’s safe to say I’ve read and heard more about the Calgary-Edmonton and Montreal-Toronto rivalries than almost any other in hockey, even when those franchises are moribund and mediocre for years.

Let’s next toss out the remaining "Original Six" teams, for reasons of their long histories in the league, as well as their recent play on ice. (Montreal and Toronto are two of the half dozen who comprised the league before its first expansion in 1967.) Detroit is the reigning league champion, and has won 4 titles in the past 11 years. The New York Rangers always make headlines by virtue of their massive market presence and a willingness to throw around huge pots of money to draw talented free agents. (So what if that’s brought just one title in the past sixty-eight years?) Finally, there’s Boston and Chicago, recent bottom-dwellers, but teams that are in the midst of dramatic turnarounds in fortune, both filled with talented youngsters that the league’s PR folks are taking advantage of.

So that’s a third of the league gone. The next tier consists of teams that have been successful in the recent past, are still competitive to a large degree, and usually have more than one star player to draw attention. Anaheim, Colorado, Dallas, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and San Jose all fit this bill. Striving to make this list are three more teams, either at a playoff level or nearly so, with superstar players or coaches or hordes of talented rookies making noise: Minnesota, Phoenix, and Washington. (Minny has Gaborik, Phoenix has Gretzky behind the bench, and the Caps have, of course, Ovechkin.)

The next set I’ll call the failures, even though that is far too simple a term, and doesn’t address the complexity of each team’s status. But their failures, in whatever form they take, draw attention, even if it is just mocking laughter. Atlanta gets notice, if only for the will-they-or-won’t-they possibility of trading superstar Ilya Kovalchuk. (If/when he goes, this franchise might just implode. That’ll be another blog post.) Buffalo has recently drawn derision for their failure to re-sign many of their prominent players, but they keep icing a productive team, and Ryan Miller and Thomas Vanek are geniune stars -- there's a reason they were chosen to play on New Year's Day last season. Columbus has been a laughingstock since their inception in 2000, but the development of a passel of young players finally has them on the right path, and they could just as easily be put in the same group with Minnesota, Phoenix, and Washington. Florida is another miserable franchise, but like Atlanta they have their own trade-or-not-trade drama unfolding with star defenseman Jay Bouwmeester. (And if rumors of the team’s financial difficulties prove true, that could draw more unwanted attention.) Los Angeles has so many young players making their way this year that they still need chaperones, but they develop they’ll be a league force in a few seasons. Nashville gets put here not for their on-ice product, but for their propensity to lose players a la Buffalo, and the fun we have in guessing just where the team will be in a year or two. (Kansas City? Las Vegas? Hamilton, Ontario?) The New York Islanders likewise make headlines for all the wrong reasons – witness the fifteen year contract given to brittle goalie Rick DiPietro (his injuries have earned him the nickname "Rickety"), the legal troubles of past ownership, and the ongoing bitterness their fans still feel about former coach and general manager Mike Milbury. St. Louis, like Los Angeles, is commiting to younger players, and draws looks for the effort and excitement they’re bringing, even if they’re not yet winning. Finally, there’s Tampa Bay, the league’s latest three-ring circus. Was anyone really shocked that Barry Melrose was the first coach fired this season? (I don't count Denis Savard.) We can admit that we’re glad the team’s new owners are entertaining us with their revolving door policy with regards to players and coaches, but Lightning fans must be sick of it already.

Agree? Disagree? Laughing?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Tick Tock

With the team 5-5 in their last 10 games, including two losses each to Florida and Washington, plus last night's moribund excuse for a game against Nashville.... Is it too early to start the Laviolette Doomsday Clock watch?

It also looks like Patrick Eaves is injured again, and maybe Tim Gleason too. No word on Gleason yet, but as Pat Dwyer was called up on an emergency basis today, Eaves figures to be gone for a while. Again.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Shocking News!

Did anyone think that Tampa Bay coach Barry Melrose would last the entire season? Especially after co-owner Oren Koules stated in an interview last month that Melrose's job was "very safe." Given the god-awful defense corps the Lightning ice every night, the fact that they're 5-7-4 (and 4-6 in their last ten, not a horrible record) should be seen as a success.

If you're keeping score, that's 1 horde of free agents signed in the off-season, at least 4 trades by my count, and now 1 coaching change. Will there be more? My guess is new interim head coach Rick Tocchet is betting the over.

Monday, October 27, 2008

It's Starting Again

Last season, the Carolina Hurricanes lost one billion man-games to injury. It's still October, and it looks like that pattern is happening again...

...RW Justin Williams popped his achilles in training camp, and will be out at least through February
...F Scott Walker injured his hand on Oct. 6, and will be out at least through mid-November
...F Tuomo Ruutu has already missed three games, although he played Saturday against the Isles
...C Brandon Sutter suffered a concussion Saturday, and may miss some time this week
...D Frantisek Kaberle suffered a broken leg on Oct. 17, and could miss another month
...D Joni Pitkanen had knee surgery after Saturday's game, and will likely miss about a month

Please, someone find the sacred burial ground the Canes training facility or stadium is built on, and do whatever it takes to appease the angry spirits.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Puck the Vote!

Go away for a week, and all hell breaks loose when you're not there to watch it. Let's overlook the strangest delay to a game ever, courtesy of Swedish hockey fans. Let's even get past the possible return of Claude Lemieux to professional hockey, albeit at a somewhat lower level than he may be used to. No, instead let us focus on two examples of the uncomfortable and hopefully soon-to-end mix of politics and hockey.

Example one, from St. Louis. By now, you probably know that Sarah Palin was asked (again) by another Republican team owner to drop the puck for the ceremonial faceoff, this time at Friday night's Blues/Kings game. What you may not know, however, is that Blues goalie Manny Legace reaggravated a hip injury while entering the ice on the ceremonial carpet laid down for the event. He left after one period, and the Blues lost the game. Video below:

Example two comes from Fayetteville, North Carolina, where early voting took place last Sunday. The Washington Times' Christina Bellantoni was there to capture that and the folks who came to protest. Protest voting. Among the animated know-nothings was one Roger Farina, the NHL fan of the year from 2003. Farina, an (apparently former) Islanders fan, was in NC protesting the "cheaters" who wanted to vote on a Sunday. Never mind that he himself voted the day before. Listen to his largely incoherent comments in the video below (skip ahead to the 2:36 mark if you don't care to hear the whole thing).

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Start of a Long, Dark Journey

While reading a recent tribute to Paul Newman, I found out that the American Film Institute recently published a list of what it claimed to be the top ten sports films of all time, a list that did not include Newman's classic Slap Shot! Perplexed, I went to see for myself what they considered better than the best damn sports film ever. In the few seconds that it took for the page to load, I thought, "Why don't I blog about the movies they picked? I could rent each film -- starting with #10 -- and review them right here! Brilliant! Sure, I'll probably have to watch some boring old crap, but since I'm a boring old guy, I'll hardly notice it."

Little did I know.

In case you've been too lazy to click on the link above, here is the AFI's list, from #10 to #1, and my first reactions:
#10 -- Jerry Maguire O God NO. I have made a point of never watching this film, wishing to remain uncompleted. But Renee Zellweger's squinty chipmunk face beckons.
#9 -- National Velvet I wipe the soda and spittle from the screen. Wtf?!? I don't think I can do this. What's next, Black Beauty?
#8 -- Breaking Away Three for three in films I've never seen. But at least here's one that maybe I should have. Okay, we're trending up at last.
#7 -- Caddyshack Ahhh, at last something I've actually seen. Although I'll have to watch it a hundred times to get my Man Club card back after #9.
#6 -- The Hustler My wife has many happy thoughts about potentially seeing a young Paul Newman on our TV screen. Haven't seen this one, yet.
#5 -- Bull Durham Okay, good movie, but listening to Kevin Costner is like nails on a chalkboard to me. In a flat, nasal, boring kind of way.
#4 -- Hoosiers Another good one, if a bit sappy. Okay, a lot sappy. At least it's not freaking Rudy.
#3 -- The Pride of the Yankees Bring the Kleenex for this one. Can't I just watch some Lou Gehrig highlights and then his retirement speech at Yankee Stadium instead?
#2 -- Rocky Okay, I'm ashamed to admit I've never seen it. Now,maybe I will.
#1 -- Raging Bull DeNiro is so scary in this movie, I may have to leave the lights on when watching. And he gets to smack around Joe Pesci.

So, what do you think? Should I go through with it? I'm assuming everyone will say yes just to make me watch #9. As long as I can drink as much as I want, I'm okay with that. Really.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The New Beginning

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" -- Eddie Pola and George Wyle

Okay, so what if Eddie and George were writing about Christmas? The NHL opened for business this weekend, and once the puck drops in Edmonton tonight, every team will have at least played their season opener.

More important, after their opening weekend twofer, the Carolina Hurricanes (who, if you haven't guessed it yet, will feature prominently in this blog) are a perfect 2-0. Bonus: they've kept the Mullet winless. Two wins against division opponents, both come-from-behind affairs, and -- best of all -- NO MORE LONG-TERM INJURIES. Yet. Bring on Detroit!

Quick hits...
...The NHL hates Michael Peca.
...Memo to Philadelphia: THANK YOU for booing.
...if you're going to join a fantasy league, try not to miss your draft. Otherwise, you end up with Glen Murray on your team. Sigh.