Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Start of a Long, Dark Journey

While reading a recent tribute to Paul Newman, I found out that the American Film Institute recently published a list of what it claimed to be the top ten sports films of all time, a list that did not include Newman's classic Slap Shot! Perplexed, I went to see for myself what they considered better than the best damn sports film ever. In the few seconds that it took for the page to load, I thought, "Why don't I blog about the movies they picked? I could rent each film -- starting with #10 -- and review them right here! Brilliant! Sure, I'll probably have to watch some boring old crap, but since I'm a boring old guy, I'll hardly notice it."

Little did I know.

In case you've been too lazy to click on the link above, here is the AFI's list, from #10 to #1, and my first reactions:
#10 -- Jerry Maguire O God NO. I have made a point of never watching this film, wishing to remain uncompleted. But Renee Zellweger's squinty chipmunk face beckons.
#9 -- National Velvet I wipe the soda and spittle from the screen. Wtf?!? I don't think I can do this. What's next, Black Beauty?
#8 -- Breaking Away Three for three in films I've never seen. But at least here's one that maybe I should have. Okay, we're trending up at last.
#7 -- Caddyshack Ahhh, at last something I've actually seen. Although I'll have to watch it a hundred times to get my Man Club card back after #9.
#6 -- The Hustler My wife has many happy thoughts about potentially seeing a young Paul Newman on our TV screen. Haven't seen this one, yet.
#5 -- Bull Durham Okay, good movie, but listening to Kevin Costner is like nails on a chalkboard to me. In a flat, nasal, boring kind of way.
#4 -- Hoosiers Another good one, if a bit sappy. Okay, a lot sappy. At least it's not freaking Rudy.
#3 -- The Pride of the Yankees Bring the Kleenex for this one. Can't I just watch some Lou Gehrig highlights and then his retirement speech at Yankee Stadium instead?
#2 -- Rocky Okay, I'm ashamed to admit I've never seen it. Now,maybe I will.
#1 -- Raging Bull DeNiro is so scary in this movie, I may have to leave the lights on when watching. And he gets to smack around Joe Pesci.

So, what do you think? Should I go through with it? I'm assuming everyone will say yes just to make me watch #9. As long as I can drink as much as I want, I'm okay with that. Really.


Brave Astronaut said...

So the Rangers missed out on going 5-0 to start the season. Whatever.

Slap Shot is a fine movie, but I was more surprised to see that Sudden Death was not on the list! (Sorry, it's been on my television during the free Encore and HBO time at the non-FIOS house.

I take issue with this list makeup individually, but I might have to do that over on Order from Chaos. National Velvet, really? [shiver]

Good luck with the new blog. We assuming that Carolina will be so bad that you'll have lots of time to write? :)

Andraste said...

SlapShot SHOULD be #1! It's in my top five of all time, and that includes non sport movies. Sheesh!

I also agree with your comments on the films that did make the list. Jerry Maguire? REALLY?

Archivalist said...

BA -- I only hope your Caps are ordering their new drivers and irons.

Andraste -- the Sports Film Nightmare Fest should start soon.